I had forgotten how much I loved Judy Blume's books until I picked up Superfudge at the library to read to Eldest. I think that I had read it in 4th grade or so. So, I wasn't too sure that Eldest would get it.
One thing I didn't quite understand as a child and now looking at it as a parent was how "middle class" Peter's parents were. How they (gasp!) rented a little 2 bedroom apartment in New York City. In fact, when Tootsie was born (the 3rd child) they didn't really have anywhere to put her but the living room. I started to come to the realization that maybe, just maybe, this is how most families lived in the beginning. How most couples that first got married didn't have a house or brand new cars. That they actually were eating mac & cheese, and that their kid's big treat was maybe a Popsicle every now and then. Going out to eat was a super fancy treat and many times we relied on our friends and relatives to help us out. Kids went outside and played and got into trouble and most times it was chalked up as kids being kids. What has changed?
One might say it's a more dangerous nation out there, but I'm not so sure. Crime since the 1980's is down. In fact in many areas, it hasn't been this low since the 60's. I have a lot of theories as to why this is and there are many folks more educated than I, who I'm sure have even better theories. So why are we more protective than ever over our children? Why do we feel like we need to have a ridiculous amount of material things before we have children? After all, we as humans have been having children since the dawn of time.
Many might say that education and knowledge are power, but depending on how we look at it who ultimately gets that power? And who is educating the masses? It seems as though many colleges are pushing big government these days. The media seems to rely very much on fear inducing tactics. Many marketers and companies are using fear to sell these days. There is another line of thought that alludes to the idea that inducing fear in a society is another type of power grab. After all, when we are all tuned into reality shows, our iPhones, and video games what time to we have to pay attention to what rights are being taken away?
I must admit I am just as guilty as the next person when it comes to zoning out. I just have to come to terms with the fact that "back in the day" hand me down clothes and leftover nights were the family norm.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Staying Positive
Yesterday, a couple blocks from our house, there was a drive by shooting with 2 people killed. The names are still not being published, but apparently there were 2 cars involved. Driving down a busy street they apparently took aim. The car with the two deceased rolled into a shed. On my way to the grocery store, I had to go around a whole city block that was blocked off by about a total of 20-30 police cars and yellow tape. Along with about every local news station van.
I get a call from my dad and then my mother called to ask, 'how everything was on drive by alley'. To say that it's annoying is an understatement. Before it's even said, Hubs and I can hear the Naysayers singing in our head, 'I told you so'. Initially, we were ready to "book it". We looked on realtor.com and dreamt of a 4 bedroom 2 bath ranch with a pool and top notch public schools in the suburbs. But, as the saying goes, tomorrow is a better day.
This morning, the rain storm died down and I noticed that all of yesterday our neighbors were out chatting it up about the incident. It was then that I realized despite how our neighborhood may look to those naysayers, they are a pretty involved and hard working bunch. This got me snowballing into a positive train of thought. What are all the pros of this house? So, here goes.
Really though, it's made me look in the mirror and analyze why appearances are so important to me. It would be a lie to tell myself that appearances shouldn't matter and it's unfair that people are judged by them. Prejudice is an extension of a basic human survival instinct, so whether we like it or not, we will always be judged by our appearances. I'm totally embarrassed to show off our house. Especially if it is to someone I know is doing a lot better than me. But, I suppose I have to come up with the strength inside of me to get over that. The strength that says despite what this person may think, I know in my heart that we chose the right path... for now.
I get a call from my dad and then my mother called to ask, 'how everything was on drive by alley'. To say that it's annoying is an understatement. Before it's even said, Hubs and I can hear the Naysayers singing in our head, 'I told you so'. Initially, we were ready to "book it". We looked on realtor.com and dreamt of a 4 bedroom 2 bath ranch with a pool and top notch public schools in the suburbs. But, as the saying goes, tomorrow is a better day.
This morning, the rain storm died down and I noticed that all of yesterday our neighbors were out chatting it up about the incident. It was then that I realized despite how our neighborhood may look to those naysayers, they are a pretty involved and hard working bunch. This got me snowballing into a positive train of thought. What are all the pros of this house? So, here goes.
- It's fairly small so it's cheap to heat and cool.
- Hubs' commute on his bike to work is about 10-20 minutes depending on his peddling effort.
- Because we bought below our means, we are able to afford our mortgage payment easily and we are never trying to scrounge up money for things because of it. This then has the domino effect in other avenues of our life. Such as, our family fights less and our marriage isn't strained because of finances (One of the most popular reasons for divorce). Eldest is able to go to what we think is the best Catholic school in town. This means he is getting the best education both academically and spiritually. We are also able to treat ourselves every once in a while without sacrificing one of our fundamental beliefs and that is staying debt free except for the house. I'm able to still stay at home, which really was a dream of mine.
- Hubs is able to fix up a house. Something he has dreamt of doing ever since he got out of college.
- We are close to some of the best shopping and restaurants in the city.
- We are extremely central to all of the freeways out of town which means we really don't have to deal much with traffic.
- We have a great investment opportunity with this thing. If we stick it out for the next few years it could really be a benefit to us in the future.
- We do have great neighbors on all sides of us.
- We are surrounded by parks and playgrounds.
- The house is old but it does have character (including hard wood floors and spacious bedrooms) and a huge lot with mature trees, which most new homes don't have.
Really though, it's made me look in the mirror and analyze why appearances are so important to me. It would be a lie to tell myself that appearances shouldn't matter and it's unfair that people are judged by them. Prejudice is an extension of a basic human survival instinct, so whether we like it or not, we will always be judged by our appearances. I'm totally embarrassed to show off our house. Especially if it is to someone I know is doing a lot better than me. But, I suppose I have to come up with the strength inside of me to get over that. The strength that says despite what this person may think, I know in my heart that we chose the right path... for now.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Back to School
I'll have to say good bye to sleeping in. Eldest has started school again after Easter Break. The one thing I am really excited about though is I can get back into the gym and melt off this extra padding. As I told my cousin a couple of weeks ago, I gotta get ready for my Lands End swimsuit! All the moms out there know what I'm talking about. Maybe one day I'll look like a "real" housewife from Orange County but for now, I'm sticking with the swim dress for everyone's sake!
Because of the rain, it's really a mystery as to when I will be showing off my hot mama bod. Another storm has swept through. On Saturday, the Hubs was able to tear down the quince bush in our backyard. I was pretty sad to see it go, but really the fruit it was producing was small and I didn't quite know how to make it do better. Plus, it was thorny and unsafe for the kids. So, it is now a pile in our backyard. Along with a rose bush that had gotten mixed in. We saved a portion of that and are going to try and have it run along our fence.
For the past few months, on sunny days we've been working on the yard. The only thing now is we have piles and piles of cut down shrubs that need to be hauled away. Our little Vibe can't handle it. This dilemma, along with the fact that we are going to have to make some Craigslist furniture purchases soon, means that it was time for a truck. I'm hoping that Hubs will write soon about his new baby, a 2001 Chevy Silverado. Until then, I will say that he is very excited over our new purchase.
It's back to work for the weekend warriors. Since it's just me in the Youngest, I will be tied down to the home more. I'm trying hard now to make this house my home. Having been injected with the nomadic spirit, Hubs and I have a hard time making a place seem permanent. We are also painfully cheap when it comes to sprucing things up. When given a choice, I would much rather buy a new handbag than a new rug for the house. But, I am trying to get over that a bit. We are here for at least several years, so it's time to hang pictures and get color coordinated towels for the bathrooms. I think it will make me feel better about things.
Because of the rain, it's really a mystery as to when I will be showing off my hot mama bod. Another storm has swept through. On Saturday, the Hubs was able to tear down the quince bush in our backyard. I was pretty sad to see it go, but really the fruit it was producing was small and I didn't quite know how to make it do better. Plus, it was thorny and unsafe for the kids. So, it is now a pile in our backyard. Along with a rose bush that had gotten mixed in. We saved a portion of that and are going to try and have it run along our fence.
For the past few months, on sunny days we've been working on the yard. The only thing now is we have piles and piles of cut down shrubs that need to be hauled away. Our little Vibe can't handle it. This dilemma, along with the fact that we are going to have to make some Craigslist furniture purchases soon, means that it was time for a truck. I'm hoping that Hubs will write soon about his new baby, a 2001 Chevy Silverado. Until then, I will say that he is very excited over our new purchase.
It's back to work for the weekend warriors. Since it's just me in the Youngest, I will be tied down to the home more. I'm trying hard now to make this house my home. Having been injected with the nomadic spirit, Hubs and I have a hard time making a place seem permanent. We are also painfully cheap when it comes to sprucing things up. When given a choice, I would much rather buy a new handbag than a new rug for the house. But, I am trying to get over that a bit. We are here for at least several years, so it's time to hang pictures and get color coordinated towels for the bathrooms. I think it will make me feel better about things.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Could this Work?
Our family has now fully settled--well, maybe not fully--into our new home here in the Valley. Our family move has proven to be much more taxing than we thought it would be. We have faced emotional and financial hurdles that we were not expecting. While our new blog might not wet the "exotic" pallet of readers, we hope it will be an interesting read nonetheless.
Several months ago, Hubs applied for a position with the Department of Interior. The position caught our interest because it's in my hometown. Our initial thought was that it would be close to my family and all of the emotional support that comes with it; and we were ready to come "home". Home for us could be just about anywhere in America, but we did prefer to be next to some family. What Hubs thought would be a "long-shot" position to get into here turned out to come very easily and we soon found ourselves moving back from Japan to Northern California.
The first plan that we had was for us to buy a home in the suburbs and for Hubs to commute to work everyday. However, although this idea sounded like the logical smart idea, we decided that we would take a chance with the housing market the way it was. We decided to buy a "fixer/older" home closer to his work. Although this neighborhood isn't "rough", it's definitely not the suburbs and the schools in the area are rated low. The home was less expensive, leaving room in our budget for Eldest to go to private school. Also, with the mortgage being so low, we could work on fixing it up and then several years down the road sell it, or rent it out (the latter being our preference).
My family did have some apprehensions about our plan, but we did it anyway. It's been a lot harder than we thought. The home that we purchased is a really cute 1950's style cottage home. The lot size is almost a quarter of an acre, which in the city is a good sized lot. Hubs has absolutely no carpentry skills. We are learning as we go. We, or maybe just I, thought that after several months we could have this place looking absolutely adorable. After several times of calling the electrician in the middle of the night and the plumber twice in a week, reality set in really quick. That concrete patio that I want in the back yard may not get done until a year from now because there is a whole portion of our fence that needs to be replaced, there's water running into our garage, our overhead fan in the kitchen isn't working, and the fan to our hallway bathroom isn't working and... should I continue? The neighborhood also leaves a lot to be desired. Although... we are lucky enough to have shopping carts on our street whenever needed and the homeless actually go through our recyclables before waste management comes. How helpful is that?!
Because we believe in paying for most everything in cash, improvements have gone much slower as well. Overseas, we were able to save quite a bit of money, but it's really gone as quickly as water and during our home purchasing adventure we've paid some stupid tax along the way.
So here we are 6 months after arrival, starting to feel human again and with a long laundry list of "to dos". Most likely this will be what our blog is about. Along with some venting frustrations of coming back to reality after a 4 year vacation. I suppose the ever underlying question is this, 'Will we be moving on in a couple or years, or will this be our permanent residence for a long while?'
Several months ago, Hubs applied for a position with the Department of Interior. The position caught our interest because it's in my hometown. Our initial thought was that it would be close to my family and all of the emotional support that comes with it; and we were ready to come "home". Home for us could be just about anywhere in America, but we did prefer to be next to some family. What Hubs thought would be a "long-shot" position to get into here turned out to come very easily and we soon found ourselves moving back from Japan to Northern California.
The first plan that we had was for us to buy a home in the suburbs and for Hubs to commute to work everyday. However, although this idea sounded like the logical smart idea, we decided that we would take a chance with the housing market the way it was. We decided to buy a "fixer/older" home closer to his work. Although this neighborhood isn't "rough", it's definitely not the suburbs and the schools in the area are rated low. The home was less expensive, leaving room in our budget for Eldest to go to private school. Also, with the mortgage being so low, we could work on fixing it up and then several years down the road sell it, or rent it out (the latter being our preference).
My family did have some apprehensions about our plan, but we did it anyway. It's been a lot harder than we thought. The home that we purchased is a really cute 1950's style cottage home. The lot size is almost a quarter of an acre, which in the city is a good sized lot. Hubs has absolutely no carpentry skills. We are learning as we go. We, or maybe just I, thought that after several months we could have this place looking absolutely adorable. After several times of calling the electrician in the middle of the night and the plumber twice in a week, reality set in really quick. That concrete patio that I want in the back yard may not get done until a year from now because there is a whole portion of our fence that needs to be replaced, there's water running into our garage, our overhead fan in the kitchen isn't working, and the fan to our hallway bathroom isn't working and... should I continue? The neighborhood also leaves a lot to be desired. Although... we are lucky enough to have shopping carts on our street whenever needed and the homeless actually go through our recyclables before waste management comes. How helpful is that?!
Because we believe in paying for most everything in cash, improvements have gone much slower as well. Overseas, we were able to save quite a bit of money, but it's really gone as quickly as water and during our home purchasing adventure we've paid some stupid tax along the way.
So here we are 6 months after arrival, starting to feel human again and with a long laundry list of "to dos". Most likely this will be what our blog is about. Along with some venting frustrations of coming back to reality after a 4 year vacation. I suppose the ever underlying question is this, 'Will we be moving on in a couple or years, or will this be our permanent residence for a long while?'
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